I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
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