You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
is wine microwaveable?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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