You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
