Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
