he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
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