You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
