Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
