Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
