Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
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