'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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