Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
What drink are we having for lunch?
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
