you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I FOUND THE LEGS
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
we're so committed to being not committed
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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