do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I'm both gender and math confused
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
