Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
