So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize