i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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