I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
