we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
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I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
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She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I am available for nakedness
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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