Im at strip club and am horny
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
