Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
