small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
