I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
