If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
