So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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