is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
