from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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