They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
