You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize