TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
