Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
