we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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