So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
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Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
My butt remains clenched, sir.
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