I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
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