What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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