I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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