There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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