the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
