is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
