dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
