And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
