I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
