Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
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