i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
