Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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