Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
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