Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
