New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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