Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
