he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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