I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
