I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
You can't just leave with hair like that
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize