my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
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