you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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