Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
