Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
