i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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