Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching her eat just hurts me
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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