I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
